Are You A Good Conversationalist?
Something strange happened to me yesterday. I had a delightful conversation with a twelve year old. Yes, a twelve year old. My nephew Jack is smart, sensitive and engaging. He is curious and knows how to listen.
Why am I so surprised? Because this young man’s generation will lose the art of face-to-face human relation skills if know one teaches them. Studies show that thirty-five percent of second and third graders own cell phones. When texting became the preferred method of communication of this group, their ability to communicate began to deteriorate.
Recently, I was riding with a good friend and salesperson and he mentioned how impressed he was with a gentleman who can seem to carry on a conversation with anyone and is well versed in many different subjects.
This skill can help you in all areas of your life. Recently, I heard a friend of mine say that he wants to stay current so he can properly communicate with his grandchildren. That is a mature, open-minded approach compared to someone saying, “I’m older and wiser. They should talk about what I want to talk about”.
By developing this skill you can communicate with a variety of people and build rapport quickly. A good conversationalist draws people to them. You have probably seen the opposite occur when a person is clearly trying to flee from someone who has not developed this skill.
Here are a few rules to help you become a great conversationalist.
- Become a master at being interested in other people, ask good questions and most importantly, listen carefully to their answers.
- Remember a good conversation is balanced with a healthy give and take. I like to use the “Marrs 70/30 Rule”. Allow the other person to talk seventy percent of the time.
- Avoid controversy. You could alienate the other person and lose the sale and relationship.
- Be interesting and fun. Do not be a one-topic pony. Take the time to be informed on a variety of subjects.
- Watch the other person’s body language. If you pay attention, these clues will tell you if the conversation is going well.
- Be positive and enthusiastic. Nothing will repel people quicker than criticizing, condemning and complaining. Thanks Dale Carnegie.
Being a good conversationalist is possible with practice and can help you break the ice, make more sales and build stronger relationships.
Have a great week!
Pierce
