Better Than Sex?
In a recent blog I asked what would happen if we only had a thousand words to speak or write before we die. It is a good practice to understand how measuring our words can help us deal with people, especially in selling.
One way you can successfully influence people is to understand how people think. Frankly, they want to talk about themselves. This is called self-disclosure. The sooner you understand this, the more successful you will be.
My December issue of Success Magazine references a study by Harvard researchers whose MRI scans reveal that self-disclosure stimulates the part of the brain that responds to rewards much the same as thoughts of food and sex. This explains why we love Facebook and Twitter.
Let me be perfectly clear. I enjoy talking about my family, whatever I am doing and especially myself. I am also on Facebook and Twitter.
So, before you call me a hypocrite, please let me explain. People that are successful in selling must learn to put other people first. Also, great salespeople that choose to develop the following skills can and will be among the highest income earners.
Here are five tips to help you measure your words in conversations.
- Acknowledge that you talk too much and make a conscious effort to improve.
- Practice the 70/30 Rule. Let the other person talk seventy percent of the time.
- Become a better listener. In the words of Stephen Covey, listen with the intent to understand, not respond.
- Genuinely be interested in the other person by asking good questions.
- Practice, practice, practice. Opportunities are available to you everyday to improve your conversation skills.
Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. ~ Proverbs 17:28
The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether to say it. ~ Frank M. Garafola
I am not sure that talking about myself is better than food and sex. You can decide for yourself.
Have a great week!
Pierce
